To the woman that was behind me in Dollar General

To the woman that was behind me in Dollar General

To the woman that was behind me in Dollar General, I am so very sorry for what I did!! I couldn’t make Eye contact because I was horrified by the sound and smell that came from me while we were standing there!! I hope that one day you will be able to smell something other the the putrid sewage that is my bowels, because I know that it has destroyed your sinuses!!
Ok so the bathrooms are beyond nasty at work! Like they haven’t been cleaned since like the 70’s when they built that plant!! So i really try to not go #2 there unless it’s like life or death! So I have been holding it for a few hours. Yes I know it bad for you! So on the way home, the colon says, "dude it’s time…" and I say, "hoooo, just let me get to the dollar store and home and I’ll go, we got this!" Yes I said that out loud. So it seems to work and the feeling subsides. I get to the dollar store and I’m walking to the check out and and the colon says, "we gotta release the gas dude or it’s all coming!" I’m thinking "ok no big deal" so as I’m walking to the check in trying to let one rip so I don’t do it right at the register… No dice. "Ok well it’s not as bad as I thought". So I’m standing there and I drop my wallet…. Before I can stop myself I bend over at the waist, not the knees, the waist, and go for my wallet. I’m absolutely amazed only gas came out! I farted so hard, it actually propelled me foward enough I had to take step to get my balance!!! Without a word I pay for my toilet paper and paper towels and leave! I couldn’t make this up people…Take advantage of your final chance to save 50% or even more on items with six flags tickets buy one get one free.   
 

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